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Pimpin' Sam
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While sittin and thinking in deep meditation
Shuckin and jivin, dough-poppin, lolligaggin, eatin chitlin stew.
I'm reminded of a girl I once knew.
She wasn't no bathin beauty and she didn't have long black hair.
But she was a stone good mud kicker and her mug was fair, baby.
I pimped this little chick and moved out West and settled down out there.
When I first met her, baby, I thought she was a little girl just outta school.
But if you listen close I'll tell ya how bad I was fooled.
While playin small town back East my bank roll got low.
She said, "Look here, pretty papa, you can't jive me."
She said, "I've forgotten more than you'll ever know."
Said, "I'm wicked Nell. The Coast Guard's heart from burning hell.
When you first met me you tried to fill me full of bull.
But you can't look up a mare mule's ass and tell how big a load she can pull."
Said, "Baby, Imma tell you what. I beat chumps for the money and the clothes too.
I woulda beat em for the tobacco but all fools don't chew."
Said, "I been from New York to the 'Frisco Bay.
I fucked all pimps like you with the game you tryin to play."
Said, "But you a good lookin kid and look all right in your clothes.
But baby, you better corner you a mule cause you ain't shit tryin to pimp ho's."
This made Pimpin Sam mad. He said, "Shuttup! Shuttup, bitch!
Don't you say another muthafuckin word!
If you do I'll put my foot in yo ass bout somethin I heard.
Now you runnin round here with your nose all snotty.
If you don't know what the game is all about you better ask somebody.
Now your tits is hangin down like a shithouse bucket,
And your pussy's so funky a dog wouldn't even suck it!"
Pimpin Sam looked at her and said, "Biiitch!"
Said, "Get up! Get up quick! There a tick! Catch it, catch it quick!"
Said, "And you better catch if you gotta suck his muthafuckin dick!"
She said, "Look here, daddy, I ain't got on no clothes."
He said, "Catch it out the window, bitch. You aint goin out the do'."
Then he looked at her and said, "So you're that little girl they call Wicked Nell,
The Coast Guard's heart from burning hell?"
Said, "Bitch I'll jump up in your pussy like it's a storm!
Cause I'm that notorious hustler called Pimpin Sam."
Said, "I been from the Golden gates of California to the shores of Maine.
I know all the ho's and bull-daggers and cocksuckers by they natural names.
I been from New York City to Eagle Pass
Playin society ho's and kickin your kinda bitches in they no good ass.
Now you all right down home with the few nickles you knock,
But bitch, out here you're squarer than a block!"
Said, "You a good little crib girl with all right looks,
But to a pimp like me you ain't even in the books."
Said, "If you're gonna try to play the game and have success,"
Said, "You better ask me about it. Goddamn, bull-daggin best."
Said, "To tell you the truth, you should be back on the farm singin to yo Uncle Ned
Cause the only way you can make a pimp like me a dime is to go out for your muthafuckin head"
Said, "And furthermore I'll tell you something ho's do for me everyday you could never do
That's fuck me, suck me, and give me that money too.
Said I got eight or ten ho's standin in line, and don't a day pass
I don't kick four or five of em they muthafuckin ass."
Said, "And the first thing, I'll pull a bitch like you outta bed a half past fo'
And make her jump in Lake Michigan if it's ninety below."
Said, "And you better not shiver when you come to sho'
Cause if you do I'll make you jump over there and swim some cocksuckin mo'."
Said, "Now the pistol's on the dresser and the razor's in the drawer,
And if you think of touchin either one of em I'll break yo muthafuckin jaw!
And bitch! Don't you roll yo eyes at me and give me no sass,
Cause I'll make the brand new Stetsons sing a song in yo ass!"
Said, "Now if you ever think about goin back home to Chitlin Switch,
I want you to tell everybody that you met Pimpin Sam, a bad, bad sonnuva bitch!"Copyright © Rudy Ray Moore
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